Nonviolent Communication 
How to Say "I Love You" in Giraffe and much more ...
NVC Quick Connect February 2018

Please only read what is of interest to you. We have many subscribers that have many different interests.
What You'll Find in This Month's Newsletter:
  • Marshall Rosenberg passed Feb. 7, 2015. Read about his life that you might enjoy learning more about ...
  • Dr. Martin Luther King Day - a great time to learn more about Dr. King's life and legacy
  • How to Say "I Love You" in Giraffe
  • Nonviolent Communication Video, by Thom Bond (The creator of the very popular Compassion Course)
  • The Cause of Anger (Audio), by Marshall Rosenberg
  • Connecting Across Differences (Episode 9): Celebrating Learning Curves by Dian Killian (Podcast)
Quotes by Marshall Rosenberg
Other Good Stuff
  • Gandhi (Pinterest) Great quotes with images​​​​​​​
  • Compassion in Action -A dying Australians woman's life advice is going viral
  • Song - Gary Allen - Life Ain't Always Beautiful 
  • Heartwarming Appreciation for a book donation to a prison program.
NVC Facebook and Yahoo! Groups
February Book Specials
We have our regular book specials on the website. In the past we used to do deep discounts up to 75% off. We found that we were not covering our costs and it was taking more time than we have. Our distributor IPG will take over our order fulfillment in late March-early April. We need the extra time to create quality new NVC books starting in Spring 2019, with more scheduled for Fall 2019
Scroll down to see all...
"Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved."
~ Marshall Rosenberg 
Featured Article
Marshall Rosenberg passed Feb 7th 2015

Read here for lots of information about his life that you might enjoy learning more about.
Read More
"At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs."
~ Marshall Rosenberg
Article #2
Dr. Martin Luther King Day
A great time to learn more about Dr. King's life and legacy

Martin Luther King Jr. (born Michael King Jr.; January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was an American Baptist minister and activist who became the most visible spokesperson and leader in the civil rights movement from 1954 through 1968. He is best known for his role in the advancement of civil rights using the tactics of nonviolence and civil disobedience based on his Christian beliefs and inspired by the nonviolent activism of Mahatma Gandhi.

King became a civil rights activist early in his career. He led the 1955 Montgomery bus boycott and helped found the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) in 1957, serving as its first president. With the SCLC, he led an unsuccessful 1962 struggle against segregation in Albany, Georgia, and helped organize the nonviolent 1963 protests in Birmingham, Alabama. He also helped to organize the 1963 March on Washington, where he delivered his famous "I Have a Dream" speech.

Read More ...
Article #3
How Do I Say "I Love You" in Giraffe
by Marion Little, MA, Dispute Resolutions, CNVC Certified Teacher

Marion Little, MA Dispute Resolution, CNVC Certified Trainer, manages Community Mediation Peterborough in Ontario Canada. She has served as Executive Director for social service agencies, and as a Human Resources Specialist implementing Sexual Misconduct Policy and abuse prevention. Marion is an IIRP Restorative Justice Facilitator, a certified Community Mediator Trainer (Ontario Community Mediation Coalition), and a Master Trainer with the Canadian Red Cross Respect Education violence and abuse prevention program. She also teaches university level reflective ethics, conflict resolution, collaborative leadership, and nonprofit management. Marion has been offering compassionate Nonviolent Communication workshops since 2001. Email: Twitter: @RubyRedShooz​​​​​​​


1. The short answer

2. Examples in different contexts

3. More details

4. The map is not the territory

5. Giraffe "I love you" as social change within relationships

6. Giraffe “I love you” as support for trauma resilience and recovery

1. The Short Answer

Marshall Rosenberg (2015), who developed the compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process, described saying "I love you" in NVC as similar to NVC gratitude: express what's most alive in you regarding someone else and whatever they’ve done to make life more wonderful. Rather than saying “thank you” or "I love you" as a habit or formula, we are invited to consider how we feel, and the needs met, by a relationship.

Marshall’s books and workshops clarify that NVC gratitude is part of saying “I love you” in Giraffe (giraffes are the symbol for NVC because they have the largest hearts of any land animal, long perspective, collective care, and are assertive without being aggressive). But, a full Giraffe “I love you” goes beyond just saying what I feel and what needs are met. It's rooted in mutuality and it’s about bearing witness too. That means empathy and self-empathy are mixed in with the honest expression. In this way, saying "I love you" can be a silent or verbal expression of solidarity in a moment of shared celebration or shared mourning.

For me this is a powerful way to connect, especially when my heart feels very full.
Read More ...
"Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally."
~ Marshall Rosenberg
Nonviolent Communication video: Thom Bond (The creator of the very popular Compassion Course)

How often do you find yourself judging others? Blaming others? Criticizing yourself? Name-calling? Or getting defensive when judging what’s right or wrong?

These are all signs that you may not be communicating as effectively as you could be. The art of nonviolent communication offers us a better way. It’s a means of communicating based on compassionate connection and a different way of looking at the world.

For today’s episode, we’re talking about Nonviolent Communication, an international bestseller which has been translated into over 30 languages.

The author of the book, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, sadly passed away a few years ago, so our conversation today is with Thom Bond, founder of the New York Center for Nonviolent Communication.

Listen in to Thom to learn:

  • How to connect with others on a more human level
  • What to do when faced with conflict in your personal and professional relationships
  • Why our worldview may be increasing the amount of conflict in our lives.
​​​​​​​The Cause of Anger/Audio - by Marshall Rosenberg

Connecting Across Differences (Episode 9): Celebrating Learning Curves by Dian Killian (Podcast)

Connecting Across Differences is a new podcast by Dian Killian, PhD of Work Collaboratively about having greater empathy for yourself and others, and how to hear others more deeply and make sure that you’ve been heard. Episodes are available on iTunes.

On this episode, Dian shares tips on celebrating your learning curves so that you can stick with your new year’s resolutions.

We’d love to hear what you’ve discovered! Feel free to post to the Work Collaboratively Facebook page.

You can also subscribe to the Connecting Across Differences podcast on iTunes. Please be sure to leave a review if you enjoyed the episode!

Thanks for listening– and be sure to tune in for our next episode in two weeks. If you’re enjoying our podcasts, please share them with your friends and family. The more people in your life who know how to connect with their feelings and needs, the easier you’ll find it to connect with them and come up with solutions that work for everyone involved.

"As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it."

​​​​​​​~ Marshall Rosenberg
Other Good Stuff
Gandhi (Pinterest) 
Great quotes with images. Click here to see.
"Self-judgments, like all judgments, are tragic expressions of unmet needs."
​​​​​​​~Marshall Rosenberg
Compassion in Action


A dying Australians woman's life advice is going viral


Thought-provoking life advice, written by a 27-year-old woman before she died has moved hearts around the world. 

Australian woman Holly Butcher lost her battle with Ewings sarcoma earlier this month.

But in the heartfelt letter – shared to her Facebook page after her death – she urged others to cherish the time they have on earth.

‘It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore,’ Holly wrote.


Read More ...
Song - Gary Allen - Life Ain't Always Beautiful

Heartwarming Appreciation for a Book Donation to a Prison Program
We support about 16 programs with free books. 

The books arrived!! Our mail clerk has been watching, the men have been asking and the Commander has been waiting to see them! They are fantastic! It is not in the least a complaint, rather to let you know, that one of the emails said a book called “Connecting Across Differences” was also supposed to be in the box and it wasn’t. The title alone did have me intrigued. The others are so exciting! Tomorrow, when the guys do not leave camp to work, I am calling the whole crew up to see their new books! I wish you could see what happens when they surround the box, looking like a Christmas morning. The more reticent guys will have their hands on the backs or shoulders of the guys in the center of the huddle around the box and there will be lots of comments about, “Oh man! There’s different books!” and, “Check that out—there’s three different kinds!” A lot of laughter, more so because of the unfamiliarity of good fortune. Lots of backslapping and arms slung over shoulders—they will walk away from my office and I won’t be able to understand a word, because they all will be chatting a mile a minute. If I am able to actually give them out (they must be logged first) by then, it will grow very silent—it is not uncommon when they are overwhelmed to simply hold the cherished item and not know what words there are to say. What’s you’ve given us is far more than a box of books—it is hope, it is something good happening in a day, it is learning for a lifetime.

Thank you!
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