Microsoft CEO strongly recommends NVC and so much more
NVC Quick Connect October 2017
Sent Tuesday, October 3, 2017

What You'll Find in This Month's Newsletter:

  • Satya Nadella Rewrites Microsoft's Code (Microsoft CEO talks of significance of NVC in Forbes magazine 9/18/17)
  • Thoughts on Hate and Charlottesville- from Compassionate Center of Ohio
  • Bad Actions, Good People (Huffington Post Article)
  • What do kids need to know about race?
  • Fun explained Fundamental Human Needs
  • Non-violent communication is at the heart of better team dynamics​​​​​​​
  • Why don't they get it?
  • (NEW) Marshall Rosenberg Video Part Three
  • Part Two (last newsletter)
  • Part One (two newsletters ago)
  • Couple fighting and then using something similar to NVC (14.26 video) others available​​​​​​​ 
Quotes by Marshall Rosenberg

Other Good Stuff
  • Nonviolent Communication-Part One (A print article)
  • Laura Jack’s new book, “The Compassion Code” 
  • Compassion in Action
  • Almost NVC Cartoon
  • 10 Things we can contribute to Peace every day, by Gary Baran
  • Love is my religion, by Ziggy Marley
NVC Facebook and Yahoo! Groups

October Book Specials
Three book specials from PuddleDancer Press

Scroll down to see all...
"Human beings have enormous power to enrich life. We can use words to contribute to people’s enjoyment, their wisdom. We can use words that can make life miserable for people. So our words are very powerful. We can touch people in ways that give great pleasure, great nurturing, support. We are powerhouses, and there’s nothing we enjoy doing more than to use that power we have to enrich lives. So isn’t it wonderful that we have this power and the joy it brings when we use it? That’s to be celebrated. Wow! And the more we celebrate that, the less we will be willing to do anything else."

~Marshall B. Rosenberg

Featured Article
Satya Nadella Rewrites Microsoft's Code 
Microsoft CEO talks of significance of NVC in Forbes magazine, published September 18, 2017.

Does Nadella’s secret sauce to some degree lie in books and promoting intellectual curiosity and freedom? Upon becoming CEO, Nadella asked his top executives to read Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication. Rosenberg describes the concept as “a way of being very honest, without any criticism, insults, or put-downs, and without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.” For Redmond, McCracken writes:

The gesture signaled that Nadella planned to run the company differently from his well-known predecessors, Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer, and address Microsoft’s long-standing reputation as a hive of intense corporate infighting. . . . The reading assignment “was the first clear indication that Satya was going to focus on transforming not just the business strategy but the culture as well,” says Microsoft president and chief legal officer Brad Smith, a 24-year company veteran.


Read More
"When you are busy judging people, you have no time to love them."
~Marshall B. Rosenberg
Article #2
Thoughts on Hate and Charlottesville
by Joe Recchie, August 19, 2017
This From Speaking Peace Blog, Compassionate Communication Center of Ohio Member-Developed Blog.

There is a third alternative that negotiates the fine line between violence and inaction. “Peace,” wrote psychologist and famed global practitioner of conflict resolution Marshall Rosenberg, “requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other.”

Read More ...
"Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, without any criticism, insults, or put downs, and without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness."
~Marshall B Rosenberg
Article #3
Bad Actions, Good People
​​​​​​​By Marc Erlbaum, Contributor
Published in The Huffington Post on August 23, 2017.

"I don’t think any human being does anything except for good reasons," psychologist Marshall Rosenberg wrote in his book Seek Peace in A World of Conflict. "And what are those good reasons? To meet a need. Everything we do is in the service of needs."

Rosenberg engaged in conflict resolution on an international stage, working in some of the world’s most conflicted regions and making significant progress where many before him failed. The "good reasons" that he identifies do not justify the behavior or imply anything “good” about the results. What is good about the reasons is that they are understandable and relatable in their universality. They are reasonable desires and needs that we all share. They offer us a glimpse into our common humanity, and accustom us to seek and recognize what is familiar within one another, rather than focusing on the things that alienate us and make us so glaringly different.

Read More ...
"Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, without any criticism, insults, or put downs, and without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness."
~Marshall B Rosenberg
Article #4
What do kids need to know about race?
by Avital Schrieber Levy, Contributor
Published in The Huffington Post on August 23, 2017.
The goal of raising the next generation as race conscious and accepting human beings is one that I think needs to be placed firmly on our parental agendas. Sometimes we might get caught up with focusing on our kids’ happiness and success - and assume that issues of racism, antisemitism, chauvinism or conversely tolerance and equality - will just “come naturally” or just sort themselves out. The thing is that the most conscious ways of being in the world don’t come naturally. Or at least not in our heavily constructed culture and not to most of us. We usually need to actively, passionately and deliberately cultivate an alternative approach - or the old mantras and ideas will continue to play out, generation by generation.
Read More ...
Article #5
Fun explained Fundamental Human Needs
by Anton Temba
Published in on August 15, 2017.
There's is a lot of confusion surrounding the word Fun. This article aims to answer the questions about what it is, what it means and how to make it useful as information.

To do this, I need to explain what are Fundamental Human Needs, a concept first developer by the Chilean economist Manfred Max-Neef, which was then further refined, humanized and made more understandable by Marshall B. Rosenberg through his work in Nonviolent Communication.

I think this is one of the vital parts for the holy grail of game design.

Fundamental Human Needs
  • Have you ever wondered why we humans play video games?
  • Have you ever wondered why do we do anything ever in life?
  • Have you ever wondered what "fun" really means?
  • Have you ever wondered why some games flop despite amazing effort put into them?
  • Have you ever wondered why some games succeed despite how simple or trashy are?
Read More ...
"The objective of NVC is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way: it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy, which will eventually fulfill everyone's needs."
~Marshall B Rosenberg
Article #6
Non-violent communication is at the heart of better team dynamics
Scroll down to the second article. Published in on September 14, 2017.

Want better team dynamics? Make non-violent communication (NVC) the only standard to live by. But what is it exactly? According to the Center For Non Violent Communication, it is a communication style based on the historical principles of nonviolence. NVC at the workplace means being able to separate the person from the task at hand. It means reframing how we express ourselves in a way that does not threaten or put the other person on the defensive. It is the art of being assertive and demanding excellence, accuracy, and discipline without making the other person feel small or incompetent. NVC takes specifics like gender, class, background, personal traits, and individual performance out of the equation and focuses singularly on the task at hand.
Read More ...
Article #7
Why don't they get it?

©Nathan W Pyle,   Used with permission.

Roxy Manning, BayNVC Executive Director and a Collaborative Trainer, offers trainings exploring the intersection of NVC and social justice locally and nationally. She will be co-leading this year’s West Coast Intensive, focused on Interdependence, Resilience, and Creativity, with Ranjana Ariaratnam, David Johnson and Talli Jackson.  Sign up here for more articles from the West Coast Intensive trainers. Browse the WCI website to learn more about the retreat here.

Does this seem familiar? You’re in a meeting. Maybe it’s a workshop around equity and social justice issues, maybe it’s your community group holding a planning meeting for their next event. Pat makes a suggestion, and folks keep talking, ignoring the suggestion, proposing others. When Riley makes a similar suggestion, suddenly everyone is excitedly discussing the idea and expressing gratitude to Riley. As you see the dejected look on Pat’s face and notice Pat has stopped talking, you feel frustrated! You’ve seen this happen with Pat and Riley many times. And you see this behavior playing out repeatedly, with people similar to Pat and Riley.

Pause a moment as you read this and check in. Is this pattern familiar to you?
What gender do you think Pat is? And Riley?
What ethnicity?
What age?
How much education?
Do you see it happening for people from some groups more than other groups?

Read More ...
Video #1
Marshall Rosenberg Video (Part Three)

Video #2
Marshall Rosenberg Video (Part Two)​​​​​​​

Video #3
Marshall Rosenberg Video (Part One)

Couple fighting and then using something similar to NVC (14.26 video) others available
Wisdom from Newt Bailey-Connected Conversation Process with Newt Bailey. Many other NVC resources available at this site.

Nonviolent Communication - Part One (A print article, not a video)
By Tom Moon, MFT, printed in The Bay Times. Click here.

Laura Jack's new book, "The Compassion Code."
(We receive no monies for sharing this) Click here.
and another review is from

Compassion in Action
J.J. Watt is a professional football player who started with a goal of raising $200,000 for Hurricane Irvine relief and raised over 20 million. Click here.

10 Things we can contribute to Peace every day 
by Gary Baran
  1. Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how you would like to relate to yourself and others.
  2. Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
  3. Check your intention to see if you are as interested in others getting their needs met as your own.
  4. Read on for the rest...

Read more ...
​​​​​​​Love is my religion 
by Ziggy Marley

October Specials
Special #1
Connecting Across Differences - 2nd Edition - Finding Common Ground With Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime
by Jane Marantz Connor, Ph.D. and Dian Killian, Ph.D.

Profound Connection is Just a Conversation Away! In this fully revised second edition, Dr. Dian Killian and Dr. Jane Marantz Connor offer a comprehensive and accessible guide for exploring the concepts, applications, and transformative power of the Nonviolent Communication process. Discover simple, yet transformative skills to create a life of abundance, where building the personal, professional and community connections you long for begins with a simple shift in thinking.

Now with an expanded selection of broadly applicable exercises, roleplays, and activities that challenge readers to immediately apply the concepts in every day life, this new edition opens the authors' insight to an even broader audience. Detailed and comprehensive, this combined book and workbook enhances communication skills by introducing the basic NVC model, as well as more advanced NVC practices.

Relevant, meaningful exercises follow each concept, giving readers the chance to immediately apply the skills they've learned to real life experiences.

What People are Saying:
"Connecting Across Differences has changed how I approach my work and life. Using empathy to connect with my feelings and needs and with the feelings and needs of the people around me has made me happier and more effective. Jane and Dian, thank you for guiding me on this journey."
--ROBERT MCGUIRE, Executive Director, Merck, Inc.

"Dian Killian is remarkable woman with a great message that brings wisdom to the field of nonviolence." --HOWARD GLASSER, author, Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach

"Connecting Across Differences capacitates learners with essential personal and interpersonal skills and knowledge needed to nurture and build a culture of peace. Killian and Connor's thoughtfully constructed guidebook opens doors to the possibility for authentic dialogue between self and others and illuminates multiple paths to living with integrity. This book should be on the shelf of every peacemaker."
--TONY JENKIS, Director of Education, National Peace Academy
Read More
Retail Price: $19.95
Our List Price: $13.95
Book: $6
​​​​​​​eBook: $5
Special #2​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
The Empathy Factor - Your Competitive Advantage for Personal, Team, and Business Success
by Marie R. Miyashiro, APR

"Breakthrough thinking from cover to cover. The Empathy Factor will help thoughtful business people add substance and dimension to relationships within the Workforce and with colleagues and customers." —JAMES B. HAYES, Former Publisher, FORTUNE Magazine

In this groundbreaking book, award-winning communication and organizational strategist Marie Miyashiro explores the missing element leaders must employ to build profits and productivity in the new economy—Empathy.

Building from the latest research in brain science, emotional intelligence, and organizational theory, Miyashiro offers both real-world insight and a practical framework to bring the transformative power of empathy to your entire organization.

Miyashiro's approach combines more than 26 years of experience advising for-profit companies, government agencies, and nonprofits to substantially improve their organizational communication with a proven, world-renowned process from the largest empathy-based community in the world.

What People are Saying:
"The Empathy Factor should be required reading for any manager or supervisor." —BILL MOORE, Senior Vice President, Ipitek Corporation; Former Vice President and General Manager, Ortel Corporation; Former Corporate Marketing Manager, Hewlett-Packard

"Marie has taken the widely heralded virtue of empathy and made it very accessible with numerous pragmatic strategies and tools. A must-read for any emerging leader!" —ULRICH NETTESHEIM, Managing Partner, Passages Consulting; Lecturer at Haas School of Business at University of California Berkeley; Founder, Umanity

"In The Empathy Factor, I see immediate applications for anyone who works as a consultant to organizations, whether for-profit, nonprofit, or social enterprise. Marie embodies the capacity to relate to ourselves with compassion as we create possibilities for alternate futures to emerge." —CATHERINE W. BROOKER, M.A., Founder and Principal Consultant, Social Futures Group; Former Senior Organization Development Consultant at Sun Microsystems

Read More
Retail Price: $19.95
List Price: $13.95
Book: $6
eBook: $5
Special #3
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids - 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflicts Into Co-operation
by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson

Stop the Struggle! Find the Co-operation and Mutual Respect You Want!
Do more than simply correct bad behavior — finally unlock your parenting potential. Use this handbook to move beyond typical discipline techniques and begin creating an environment based on mutual respect, emotional safety, and positive, open communication.

Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids offers 7 Simple Keys to discover the mutual respect and nurturing relationships you've been looking for.

Use these 7 Keys to:
  • Set firm limits without using demands or coercion
  • Achieve mutual respect without being submissive
  • Successfully prevent, reduce and resolve conflicts
  • Empower your kids to open up, co-operate, and realize their full potential
  • Make your home a No-Fault Zone where trust thrives

Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson are coauthors of The No-Fault Classroom, The Compassionate Classroom, and Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids. They bring to their work a combined forty-five years of teaching young people as well as teachers, administrators and parents in school communities. As co-founders of Kindle-Hart Communication. Sura and Victoria have been developing and facilitating parent- and teacher-education workshops together for more than 20 years.
Read More
Retail Price: $17.95
List Price: $12.55
Book: $5
eBook: $4
© Sven Hartenstein.(used with permission)

NVC Related Facebook Pages and Other NVC Groups


NVC Parents, Couples and Children

Empathy Café: Center for Building a Culture of Empathy and Compassion

NVC Business Community Group

NVC Mediation

NVC Research Group

Restorative Circles

Emotional Intelligence Network

NVC Education

NVC Networkers​​​​​​​


e-Forums (Yahoo Groups) Listed at

NVC Yahoo Groups Google Search

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PuddleDancer Press