NVC Tips for These Uncertain Times
Quick Connect July 2017
Sent Monday, July 10, 2017
What You'll Find in This Month's Newsletter:

  • When NVC Backfires, by Oren J. Sofer
  • Tips for These Uncertain Times, by Roxy Manning
  • Dalai Lama: 5 Things to Keep in Mind for the Next Four Years
  • Making Change: Safer Communities Project

  • Nonviolent Communication: An Effective Tool in the Work to End Racism​​​​​​​
Quotes by Marshall Rosenberg

Other Good Stuff
  • Compassion in Action
  • Almost NVC Cartoon

  • Regrets for posting an incorrect link to an education film series article from our May Newsletter
  • Behind Every Action There Is a Need: 5 Films About Conflict Management in the Classroom
  • Culture of Peace in School with NVC
Additional NVC Audio Resources

NVC Facebook and Yahoo! Groups

July Book Specials
Four book package specials from PuddleDancer Press

Scroll down to see all...
Featured Article
When NVC Backfires​​​​​​​
Oren J. Sofer has been practicing mindfulness meditation and Nonviolent Communication for two decades, and teaching nationally for the past ten years. He’s passionate about how awareness practice and communication training support each other in personal growth, healing, and social change. He is a Collaborative Trainer at BayNVC, Senior Program Staff at Mindful Schools, and the author of Three Steps to Better Conversations: A Guide to Mindful Communication (forthcoming, Shambhala). Oren holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University and is trained in Somatic Experiencing for healing trauma. You can learn more about his work and subscribe to his monthly newsletter at www.orenjaysofer.com

When I first learned about the concept of needs at a local communication workshop in my early 20s, I was astounded. I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh -- I have needs!” However, my ensuing attempts to use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with family and friends didn’t always go so well.

For many, learning new concepts and tools of NVC (or any other communication technique) can be a powerful revelation. We may sense an inherent alignment with the values of compassion, collaboration, and empathy that shine through this beautiful practice. The possibility of listening and speaking in ways that lead to mutual giving from the heart can be truly life-changing.


Yet so often our hopes and aspirations for finding new and meaningful ways of connecting are dashed. We take our new words out for a spin and end up in a spectacular crash!

Read More
"Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs."
~Marshall Rosenberg
Article #2
Tips for Uncertain Times
by Roxy Manning
Roxy Manning, BayNVC Executive Director and a Collaborative Trainer, offers trainings exploring the intersection of NVC and social justice locally and nationally. She will be co-leading this year’s West Coast Intensive, focused on Interdependence, Resilience, and Creativity, with Ranjana Ariaratnam, David Johnson and Talli Jackson.  Sign up here for more articles from the West Coast Intensive trainers. Browse the WCI website to learn more about the retreat here. Roxy’s email address wci@learnnvc.org
The events that have unfolded since the election continue to stimulate a huge amount of fear in me and those around me. I’ve had many sleepless nights since November, stemming from my children wondering if Trump’s election meant half the country did not like people of color, from colleagues applying preemptively for Canadian visas, and from my observations of what appears to be a systematic dismantling of the already limited protections for our environment and our social programs. I’ve been wondering how to respond, and how to help my children and those around me respond, to these uncertain times.
I believe any response will need to attend to one of two areas. I’m sure there are more, but here are the two where I am choosing to put my energy. First, I want to find ways to understand and make sense of what’s happening, and from that understanding, to choose a powerful, compassionate response. After the current political crisis has shifted, I want to have a greater sense of agency, to have grown my capacity to speak up and effect change. Next, while thinking of ways to increase my impact, I also want to find ways to care for myself, to manage the degree of stress and anxiety I feel. I worry that as I take in the endless revelations about decisions that impact so many, as I frantically choose which item to respond to, which cause to support, I will be so overwhelmed that I’ll withdraw and stop responding at all. These urgent times often result in a demand to do ever more, leading to burnout and despair. So, how can we fortify ourselves so we can do the needed work in a powerful and sustainable way?
Read More ...
"We need to receive empathy to give empathy"
~Marshall Rosenberg
Article #3
Dalai Lama: 5 Things to Keep in Mind for the Next Four Years
by Jen Christensen, CNN
Jen Christensen is a producer/editor with CNN's Health, Medical & Wellness Unit, a documentary & data producer, and a reporter with CNN.com.
(CNN)The Dalai Lama has some advice for anyone who is looking for happiness, no matter what their circumstances.

The Nobel Peace Prize-winning spiritual and political leader of the Tibetan people in exile, spoke about the incoming administration in an interview with CNN's chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

The "president, of course, (is a) very important individual, but basically I (am) always telling (people), the world belongs to humanity," said the Dalai Lama during the Emory-Tibet symposium of Scholars and Scientists held at the Drepung Monastic University in India in December. "Each nation belongs to the people," he said.
In other words, take comfort in the fact that our country is not run by a lone individual, albeit one that is incredibly powerful.
Read More ...
"Every time I mess up is a chance to practice."
~Marshall Rosenberg
Article #4
Making Change: Safer Communities Project
by Meganwind Eoyang
Meganwind Eoyang met NVC through her friend Julie Greene, one of the four certified trainers who established BayNVC, and is deeply grateful for the support of all those trainers. She was one of the inaugural Leadership Program participants who started the Safer Communities Project in 2002 at San Quentin State prison and now manages the 14-volunteer program sharing that work with her "inside."
When I was 10, I made friends with a girl across the street. She was the leader of a street gang. We eventually broke off our friendship, which ended with us standing in the middle of 40 or so kids shouting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" and shoving us back into the circle when either of us tried to leave. Words were thrown back and forth, and a racial slur I never thought would come out of my mouth flew straight into her heart. The punches, kicks and bites were on. I made the mistake of winning the fight. A few months later her cousin moved up to Chicago from Alabama, and then she took over the street gang. To prove her leadership, she decided it was important to beat me up and prove she was tougher than her predecessor. Her proving continued for over a year, with fights every day after school. She figured out that if I didn't want to fight, she could start beating up a smaller child, and I would stand and protect them. It seemed the only way for valor to be proven was to beat the tar out of someone: me.

In my neighborhood, I saw parents shout at each other and shove and beat each other. I saw the parents shout at and beat the kids. I saw the kids shout at and beat each other. What kind of life is this, I wondered?
Read More ...
"Translate all self-judgments into self-empathy"
~Marshall Rosenberg
Nonviolent Communication: An Effective Tool in the Work to End Racism
Published on June, 25, 2017

Because Nonviolent Communication steps out of the right/wrong paradigm and helps people connect across differences rather than get caught in blame, host Marlena Willis has found it to be one of the most effective tools in raising awareness around racism in all of her years of working on this issue. Marlena interviews Edmundo Norte and Alicia Garcia on how they use Nonviolent Communication in their work to empower others to end racism.

"Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing."
~Marshall Rosenberg
Additional NVC Audio Resources

Other Good Stuff
Compassion in Action
Police officer adopts 8-year-old boy he saved from severe child abuse. (CBS News)
​​​​​​​

"Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts."
~Marshall Rosenberg
  • Regrets for posting an incorrect link to an education film series article from our May Newsletter​​​​​​​
The film is divided into 5 smaller films and is based on the idea that conflicts are inevitable - and they can also be the foundation for development of social and personal skills - if we are able to get closer and focus on the needs behind the conflict. The films presents tools to understand and face a conflict by describing facts, feelings and needs and asking for a specific action. NVC (Nonviolent Communication) is an universal tool box you can use to solve conflicts and restore trust.
"Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved."
​​​​​​​~Marshall Rosenberg
July Specials
Special #1
NVC Anger Management Package
Your Complete NVC Anger Management Resource
by Various Authors - 3-Title Package

With this transformational package, you'll discover an enlightening and effective alternative to traditional anger management approaches. Learn to discover the needs behind your anger, and to use your anger as an opportunity for growth and connection.

This package contains the following titles: ​​​​​​​
  • Speak Peace in a World of Conflict
  • The Surprising Purpose of Anger
  • What's Making You Angry?

Read More
Retail Price: $30.85
Our List Price: $21.00
Book: $10
​​​​​​​eBook: $8.00
Special #2​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
NVC Conflict Resolution Package
Your Complete NVC Conflict Resolution Resource
by Various Authors - 4-Title Package

Access all the tools you need to develop empathy skills, defuse emotionally charged situations at work or home, enhance your professional mediation practice, reduce sibling rivalry, and negotiate mutually-satisfying, peaceful resolution to conflict.

This package contains the following titles: ​​​​​​​
  • Getting Past the Pain Between Us
  • The Surprising Purpose of Anger
  • We Can Work It Out
  • What's Making You Angry?
Read More
Retail Price: $31.80
List Price: $22.00
Book: $11
eBook: $10
Special #3
NVC Extraordinary Relationships Package
Your Complete NVC Extraordinary Relationships Resource
by Various Authors - 4-Title Package

With this complete package you'll gain a solid introduction to the Nonviolent Communication process, and learn how you create extraordinary personal and professional relationships. Use it to develop your empathy skills, learn to communicate clearly from the heart, process pain or conflict healthfully, and deepen your emotional connections with your partner, spouse, friends and family.

This package contains the following titles: ​​​​​​​
  • Being Genuine
  • Being Me, Loving You
  • Getting Past the Pain Between Us
  • What's Making You Angry?

Read More
Retail Price: $39.80
List Price: $22.00
Book: $14.00
eBook: $12.00
Special #4
NVC Personal Growth and Healing Package
Your Complete NVC Personal Growth and Healing Resource
by Various Authors - 4-Title Package


Begin living a life filled with self-love and personal empowerment with this complete book package. Learn to transform your inner talk to heal your deep-rooted pain, mourn loss or mistakes, and manifest the healthy relationships you long for.

This package contains the following titles: 
  • Eat by Choice, Not by Habit
  • Peaceful Living
  • Getting Past the Pain Between Us
  • Graduating From Guilt
Read More
Retail Price: $49.80
List Price: $34.00
Book: $17
eBook: $15.00
Five most recent NVC 3rd Edition Reviews (From Amazon readers)
5.0 out 5 stars - Life changing
Buy this if you have violent communication going on in your life
Published 1 day ago by Devote
5.0 out of 5 stars - This book is so helpful! I have been reading ...
This book is so helpful! I have been reading it slowly to allow myself to really apply it's concepts into my life.
Published 4 days ago by Laura
5.0 out of 5 stars - Amazing How OUR Words Make a Difference
I have learned so much about communication by reading this book. It's easy to apply in many areas, and takes more work with family & loved ones.Read more
Published 5 days ago by Cindy P

5.0 out of 5 stars - Everyone Should Read This Book - Schools should reinforce this from elementary level onward!
My friends and I are studying NVC right now on weekly basis. We're learning so much. Compared to the first version, it's much better now in its 4th edition.Read more
Published 10 days ago by Raven C. Sequoia

5.0 out of 5 stars- Great book
Very informative and we'll written book. It helped me deal with day to day situations in a graceful and productive way.
Published 10 days ago by B. Geluda
Read More
"People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault"
~Marshall Rosenberg
© Sven Hartenstein.(used with permission)
"Empathy allows us to re-perceive our world in a new way and move forward."
~Marshall Rosenberg
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