When I first learned about the concept of needs at a local communication workshop in my early 20s, I was astounded. I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh -- I have needs!” However, my ensuing attempts to use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with family and friends didn’t always go so well.

For many, learning new concepts and tools of NVC (or any other communication technique) can be a powerful revelation. We may sense an inherent alignment with the values of compassion, collaboration, and empathy that shine through this beautiful practice. The possibility of listening and speaking in ways that lead to mutual giving from the heart can be truly life-changing.

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Yet so often our hopes and aspirations for finding new and meaningful ways of connecting are dashed. We take our new words out for a spin and end up in a spectacular crash!

Roxy Manning, BayNVC Executive Director and a Collaborative Trainer, offers trainings exploring the intersection of NVC and social justice locally and nationally. She will be co-leading this year’s West Coast Intensive, focused on Interdependence, Resilience, and Creativity, with Ranjana Ariaratnam, David Johnson and Talli Jackson.  Sign up here for more articles from the West Coast Intensive trainers. Browse the WCI website to learn more about the retreat here. Roxy’s email address wci@learnnvc.org

Jen Christensen is a producer/editor with CNN's Health, Medical & Wellness Unit, a documentary & data producer, and a reporter with CNN.com.

Meganwind Eoyang met NVC through her friend Julie Greene, one of the four certified trainers who established BayNVC, and is deeply grateful for the support of all those trainers. She was one of the inaugural Leadership Program participants who started the Safer Communities Project in 2002 at San Quentin State prison and now manages the 14-volunteer program sharing that work with her "inside."